Viewing LiveJournal entry #74328

Friday, 8th January, 2010

hipikat @ 1:45 PM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I've gone and desensitised myself again.
Long story short, I'm completely desensitised and now have no idea how acceptable a topic of conversation rope play/rope bondage is to uninterested outsiders and random third parties. Beautiful/artistic, not inherently sexual thing, or implying too much about things you don't want to think about friends getting up to in their spare time?

Clarification: Okay I'm not asking 'what do you imagine a cultural average would be' - this is a poll - give me your personal response and we do the maths from that real data :) Incidentally, you can change an answer once you've made it in LJ polls if you haven't noticed.

Addendum: Don't abstain if you think you're an outlier - I know full well the sample space I'm polling is my friends on Livejournal and there are going to be biases.

Poll #1508710 Rope and innocence

How innocent is rope play, as a topic of discussion?

0 - Totally innocent
10 - Totally depraved

I'm also hopefully about getting a bell curve with a calculable standard deviation.

Update: Should have guessed! :D


angriest @ 5:52 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I went with 7 as a sort of expected societal average, but on a personal level I think it's maybe a 2 or a 3. It's all about context.
evil_megz @ 6:00 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Yeah I'm not sure if you're asking about if you approached me as an "uninterested outsiders and random third party", or just picked a stranger at random, in which case it would depend heavily on if they were wearing leathers and covered in piercings, or a nun's habit.
hipikat @ 6:05 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I clarified in the body of the post =^.^=
angriest @ 6:33 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
OK, have changed vote from 7 to 3.
madmanmarkau @ 5:57 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
hipikat @ 6:00 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Hey, the sample space is my friends on Livejournal - I'm hardly expecting a particularly statistically valid set of results :)
dilettantiquity @ 6:05 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I was going to abstain for the same reasons, but okay, will vote and you can cull my vote as an outlier if you want.
transcendancing @ 6:06 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I'm going contextual on this too... I expect the average response to be much higher than my personal response which is around 2-3 ish.
conradin @ 6:13 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Oh, ok, I foolishly answered for society not myself...actually, doing that must do odd things to results.

Anyway, you know my talking tolerance :P
alias_sqbr @ 6:20 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I should note that depraved doesn't mean BAD :) And it's possible my vote is skewed by only having had people discuss the topic with me in a sexual context, and the fact that I do get sometimes feel uncomfortable hearing about people I know's sex lives. Which is not to say I'd be uncomfortable with you talking about it on your lj, but if it came up in the middle of a conversation about something else would be a little taken aback for a second.

Then again this is me. I am sometimes a little uncomfortable with people saying "*hug*" at each other. *is wierd*

EDIT: Also I am amused at how at least currently it is so totally not a bell curve. I wonder if it's because people choose either "depraved" or "innocent" then choose a number on that side.
hipikat @ 6:38 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Hey you'll know - I'm trying with conradin to work out if there's a name for an inverse bell curve thing - where it peaks on the sides?

Of course what we're getting here which seems obvious now is a two-humped curve =^.^=
alias_sqbr @ 6:47 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
As a pure maths major I actually know less stats than your average person with pretty much any other sort of science major except maybe computer science :)

*googles about for a bit because I'm curious too now*
hipikat @ 6:57 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Oh yes, I guess it was time for my yearly-or-so 'don't confuse pure and stats maths people plzkthx' kick in the head. Feel free to kick harder next time so it sinks in for longer =^.^= Also thanks for the link.
alias_sqbr @ 3:47 AM on Sun, 10 Jan 10
Eh, I'm used to it :)
flye @ 8:42 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
It is a bactrian curve (not a dromedary curve). :3
leemur @ 9:01 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
A well curve? I saw it used somewhere on the net, and it seemed like such a natural fit that I assumed that is what everyone called it.
obeisance @ 6:21 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I voted 8. Because rope play/shibari/etc. It really depends on the person.

To someone well versed in such topics, it's fairly innocent.
To someone who knows dick about it, discussing rope play is like saying HI I'M A MASSIVE DEVIANT WHO WANTS TO BE CUT, SPINDLED AND MUTILATED. It alludes to other things.

I took the side of the un-initiated. lol.

msvyvyan @ 7:30 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Spindled? Hehehehe, too long since I got me some decent spindling action.

Er, what the hell is spindling? Other than fibre-arts related?!
transcendancing @ 7:35 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
lol :)
shrydar @ 7:38 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
obeisance has a thing for metaphasis? It could explain the lab tech aspirations..

I feel much less ignorant if even you have no idea what he's on about :)
helen_jess @ 6:54 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
IIt's going to be a biased poll due to the moral demographic of most of your flist.
hipikat @ 6:58 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
msvyvyan @ 7:14 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Depends utterly, completely, entirely on the audience/interlocutors. It would be a 10 in my place of work (and in fact almost mandatory), a zero if I were talking to, say Dr K's mother.
doctor_k_ @ 7:18 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I've gone for 'fairly depraved', as in 'let's not talk about this when my parents are in the room', but then I'm usually quite happy to discuss level 10 depravities with my friends, or at parties. Or even loudly in public places, like crowded yum cha restaurants, or the Berry Farm.
transcendancing @ 7:41 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
oooh... Berry Farm. I must go back there soon. My thoughts are similar to yours on this. Context.
kadeton @ 10:43 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Yeah, this is essentially my thinking as well. Context is more important than personal reaction.
jetblackvalias @ 7:26 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
My answer to this question will depend on where sex in general sits on the scale. As someone who doesn't often talk about it, I'd probably put this particular type of Marital Aid at around an 8. However, were I in a discussion that had already reached the required level of Too Much Information, I would probably put it at about a 2 or 3.

In short, I would say it is an innocent enough topic of discussion provided the discussion was about sex.
hipikat @ 7:32 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Hehehehe 'marital aid'.
jetblackvalias @ 8:19 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
It really is an excellent phrase
gemfyre @ 7:27 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I voted it an 8.

But just because it's depraved doesn't neccessarily mean it's bad.
ataxi @ 8:02 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Voted it a 7 after mentally changing your axis from "completely innocent - depraved" to "completely acceptable - completely unacceptable".

Not because I find bondage shocking but because, for me, discussion of sex practices in an average social environment is skeezy. In my experience conversations of this type tend towards a sort of "nudge nudge" zone I find repulsive.

The less circumlocutory and euphemistic, and the more specific the conversation, the less likely I'd be to find it unpleasant. But on the whole there are many, many other things I find it more interesting to talk about.
tzisorey @ 8:11 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I'll vote once I've managed to untie myself ;)
msvyvyan @ 9:52 PM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
This comment wins a small prize.

Prize to be determined at a future indeterminate date, and may in fact be a Schrödinger's prize, and cease to have ever existed upon attempted observation
tzisorey @ 11:53 PM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Delivery of prize may be permanently delayed.
wolphin @ 9:19 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Loaded question! Depends on how you introduce it. Discovering someone was a boy scout and asking them about knot tying techniques - perfectly acceptable. Asking the checkout girl how tight she likes her restraints as she's putting the milk into the bag, probably not so.
fleet @ 10:32 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
Why would you talk about that to a random? I mean sure it's fine within your circle of friends (mostly), but you don't seem to realise how wholesome 'normal' people can be.
infamyanonymous @ 11:48 AM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
I'd say I'm 'a random'and this would be a random, unexpected conversational turn. Sober, I'd be very uncomfortable about it, but after a few drinks at a party or something, not so bad.
It'd also make a difference as to who else is around, and how well I know them.
Of the many and varied world of sex topics, it's not too bad.
scotsnow @ 12:38 PM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
scotsnow @ 1:41 PM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
frenchiephish @ 3:49 PM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
To be entirely honest, if you sprung it on my mid conversation I'd probably feel a bit awkward but not offended, so I voted a four.

Its not something I feel would offend my sensibilities. That said, bondage isn't something I'm interested in myself, but I find differences in people's sexuality interesting and would probably find the conversation worthwhile from that standpoint.
frenchiephish @ 3:51 PM on Fri, 8 Jan 10
And I also fail at livejournal threading it seems.
samara_47 @ 9:39 AM on Mon, 11 Jan 10
I voted my personal reaction which is a 3, But I am jumping on the depending on circumstances bandwagon. Some places are just not cool to discuss these things; Like a church.. although why we are both in a church is beyond me.